Monday, 19 January 2015

An Army (and Talli Roland) March on their Stomachs

When Talli agreed to be a guest on my blog I knew we were all in for a treat. What I wasn’t expecting was to laugh out loud as I read (and related to) the following. Enjoy.

Talli Roland - in between snacks
Writing from home each day, most of the excitement in my life revolves around food. From the second I sit down at the computer to start writing, I’m already fantasising about burnt toast o’clock, when I get to munch on yummy carbon slathered with butter. We all know the benefits of cupcakes and chocolate, and how they can lift us from the doldrums when things may not be going so swimmingly with our writing efforts. But what about all those other mood swings writers experience? What should we munch on then?


I've developed a handy-dandy guide to help with just that question.


Stuck on a plot point. If your creative juices aren't flowing, why not encourage a little saliva? I'd suggest munching on something sour; perhaps some of those super-mouth-pursing penny candies from the corner shop. Or, why not try sucking a lemon?


Bored with the MS. No matter how excited we may be when we begin a new project, it's inevitable that at some stage, boredom will set in. At this point, I'd recommend a bracing bite of a durian. It tastes like feet and I can guarantee you'll feel alert after eating it!


Restless and anxious. Sometimes, reading over one's own writing and the thought of showing it to others can be vom-inducing. I'd suggest a lovely cup of chamomile tea, paired with a digestive biscuit. Ahhhh...


When that character just won't behave! Don't kill them off with abandon. Instead, I recommend cooking up a piece o' meat then stabbing it over and over to release frustration. (Note: I haven't actually done this – yet).


I suck. I’m finished. No-one will ever want to read this rubbish. There’s only one thing for it: sugar sugar sugar! Chocolate, liquorice all-sorts, or even just some granules straight from the canister (I’ve done it in desperation) – whatever you choose, rest assured that in about ten minutes, you’ll get a rush that will banish the blues.

The Amazon one-star review. If you’re published, only two things are certain: 1. your mum will buy your book; and 2. at some point, you’ll receive a one-star review. Such moments are crushing and even soul-destroying . . . until you drink some wine and put it all back into perspective again. Someone doesn’t like your book. So what? They probably can’t read, anyway.

The elusive 'this MS rocks' moment. Grab whatever food is handy and stuff your face fast, 'coz I can guarantee that moment probably won't last!

Happy eating! Oh yes... and writing.


Talli Roland writes bittersweet and witty contemporary women’s fiction. Born and raised in Canada, Talli now lives in London, where she savours the great cultural life (coffee and wine).

Despite training as a journalist, Talli soon found she preferred making up her own stories—complete with happy endings. Talli’s novels have been short-listed in Best Romantic Reads at the UK’s Festival of Romance and chosen as top books of the year by industry review websites. Her most recent book, Marriage to Measure, was published in December 2014.


When Serenity Holland proposes to her long-time boyfriend Jeremy, she’s certain ‘forever’ is a perfect fit. As the wedding train steams forward, though, Serenity starts to wonder if they really are an ideal match. From a crusty old ring to a dilapidated house she’s left to renovate on her own – not to mention the appearance of Jeremy’s clingy ex-fiancĂ©e – engagement feels more like disengagement. 

To learn more about Talli go to www.talliroland.com or follow Talli on Twitter:@talliroland.

Links:

Delighted you could join us today, Talli…and thank you for the permission to indulge in what might before have been considered forbidden fruit. And speaking of fruit, I had to look up durian. Not sure I'm quite ready for that one yet. Next time I have a guilt trip I shall think of this post.

Natalie




22 comments:

  1. Thank you for hosting me, Natalie! I urge you to give the durian a try.

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    1. A joy to have you, Talli. I'm reserving judgement on the durian but as soon as it comes my way...

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  2. Some great tips, Talli. I'm starting to work through some of them myself! LOL

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    1. The durian comes highly recommended...apparently

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    2. Yes, do give the durian a go!

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    3. Should I pinch my nose first, Talli?

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  3. My writing room has its own chocolate in tray! Different chocs for different moods. You can keep the durian. The smell of those things is enough to send me running for the hills! Cadburys giant buttons and a few Guyluan seashells this morning, for me I think.

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    1. I love the idea of a chocolate in tray, Viv. Any other indulgences or just chocolate?

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    2. Wow, that's a great idea, Viv. I'd be afraid of eating the whole thing in one go, though.

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  4. Durian?! Will google them immediately. Am currently on a screaming deadline (which is why of course I'm hiding here ), it's just gone 09.30 and I've had 2 slices of toast with an obscene amount of butter plus a pack of Cheese Grids (Aldi cheesy corn snacks). Not sure it's helping ... ;0)

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    1. I see from Facebook, Rachel, that your reaction to durian was very similar to mine. I have yet to be persuaded. Not that I don't trust Talli implicitly but sometimes these things are a matter of taste - acquired taste

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  5. Smiles:-) I thought Durian smelt of feet but tasted wonderful. I fear I've been misinformed. Thanks for the introduction to Talli, Natalie. BTW this is Moya

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    1. Hi Moya, thanks for reading! And I think the taste of the durian is an individual thing.

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  6. I'm amazed you've never given me one, Moya, or have you and maybe I didn't recognise its merits? You've certainly presented me with some amazing fruits from time to time.

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  7. An interesting blog, Talli. I've felt like stabbing meat a few times!

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    1. Thanks, Elaine! It does let off the frustration.

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  8. I've felt like stabbing a few people, Elaine, or sometimes even the back of my hand!

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  9. A bowl of shreddies can be eaten... well, at any time and for any reason.

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    1. Granola for me, Wendy, but the principle's the same

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    2. I am a huge cereal fan, too, Wendy! Yum.

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  10. This really made me smile. Great advice for sugar-loving authors...thanks, Talli and Natalie, too

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    1. Thank you for stopping by. Isn't it nice to have permission and be guilt-free.

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